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SPECTRE vs Trifecta
He’s got licences to kill, he’s got licenses to fish! But what was Sam Mendes’s *real* wish for James Bond in SPECTRE? An intrepid band of your FT correspondents stumbled upon an early draft of the...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2015
TAYLOR & KANYE: Hi everyone! TAYLOR: What a year it’s been. KANYE: I know, I totally won an award and you didn’t! There is a complete Blank Space in your trophy cabinet. TAYLOR: Shhh, we’re meant...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2015: #40-#31
“Hi there kids, I’m an anthropomorphised visualisation of the online streaming service Tidal. This year has been a veritable whirlpool of activity for me, trying to remind people that I exist and...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2015: #30-#21
“Good morning readers, I am a humble cyanobacteria from the Paleoproterozoic Era! I am responsible for the First Great Mass Extinction Event around 2 billion years ago, when I farted out a bunch of...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2015: #20-#11
“Hi readers, I’m Lionel Richie’s Enormous Clay Head. You may remember me from the ‘Hello’ video where a visually impaired student nearly sticks her fingers right into my eyeballs – ouch! Just because...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2015: #10-#1
“Yojne! – 01 Pot gnilffuhs-zzaj, gnikcilc-regnif lanif eht s’ereh, yawyna! Ekil I mug taht ekil, elyts ni kcab emoc ll’yeht yllufepoh. Selit eht htiw yoj on tub, sniatruc der eht dah yeht dna Esabemoh...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2016
“Hello readers! It’s me, last year’s winner, Missy Elliott! Although 2016 has been an eventful year, I definitely hadn’t forgotten about my triumphant song at all. Definitely not. And neither had the...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2016: #40-#31
“‘Allo. My name is René Artois, cafe owner and reluctant assistant to the Resistance. You may be wondering what I am doin ‘ere, at the top of a German communications tower, ‘olding a large knockwurst...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2016: #30-#21
Greetings! I’m the Toilet Duck and I’m here to solve all your problems! It’s easy (*quack*) when I’m on your team. With my catchy tunes and the help of my squadron of all-terrain bathroom fixtures I...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2016: #20-#11
TASH-BED: Hi everyone! It’s us, the singing Bedingfield siblings! Remember us? You must remember us. DAN-BED: Summon Tash and she will appear! TASH-BED: We’ve been keeping busy for the last few years,...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2016: #10-#1
“Call me Ron. I’m a straightforward sort of pup, me – what you see is what you get. But when I’m not out clubbing with my six older brothers, I do get to wondering what it’s all about. You know. Life....
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Halfway House 2017
We’re almost halfway through 2017 and the world hasn’t blown up yet! Well done us. Let’s make the most of our remaining time and have a nice chat about music: this year my personal favourites seem to...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2017
“Hi, I’m Barry Scott! Despite my reappearance in the nation’s ad breaks this year, the amount of grime in general circulation has actually *increased* somehow! I blame the millennials and their...
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THE FREAKY TRIGGER ADVENT CALENDAR OF XMAS SANDWICHES – December 8: Waka...
Recently I’ve been trying to reduce the amount of meat I consume. The aim is to reduce my carbon footprint and think harder about the provenance of the meat I do eat (in practice this is stuff lovingly...
View ArticleTFTACOXS – December 15th: Brie & Cranberry Wars
IN THIS BLEAK MIDWINTER frosty wind may well moan, but it has been drowned out by the chorus of complaint surrounding the high levels of cranberry in this year’s festive sanger selections. As we saw on...
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TFTACOXS – December 19th: Brie & Cranberry Wars part Deux
Previously on Brie & Cranberry Wars…we saw our intrepid reporter tackling sauce with curious geometrical properties, incisoring through predictably chewy bread and carefully measuring the thickness...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2017: #40-#31
“Hello children. I’m the Demon Headmaster, beloved patriarchal figure of note who wants nothing more than to educate keen students in the most efficient, hypnotic manner possible. If getting results...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2017: #30-#21
“Hullo! I’m Hero, the naughty hedgehog mascot of the 2017 World Athletics Championships. You thought I was mute, didn’t you, just because I was holding up all those Bangface-style signs? In fact I was...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2017: #20-#11
“Hi there, I’m the Heart of the Ocean, a fictional diamond necklace made famous by Britney asking whether I’d been chucked in the Atlantic Ocean or not when actually I was on MARS. My higher than...
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The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2017: #10-#1
“Wotcher me old muckers. I’m Nena’s 100th Red Balloon, the one edited out of the final version of the song because I ‘wouldn’t scan proper’. We only come in packs of 100 you know. Whatcha got against a...
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